2013 Oscars Blog | People's Critic: Film Reviews - seattlepi.com

Live from my living room?.it?s the 2013 Oscars. My party consists of hummus, Gatorade, Twitter, and a space heater. Bring on the awards!

5:30PM ? The opening from Seth McFarlane is pretty lackluster. I would?ve never thought he?d be hosting a show like this. As I imagined the opening turned into a bit from Family Guy. Dance number, puppets, Captain Kirk. It feels like a bad opening for the MTV Awards

I can?t believe I?m missing The Walking Dead for this.

5:47 ? The first award goes to Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained. Leo is somewhere screaming ?That?s MY Oscar?. It?s Waltz second Oscar and well deserved. He?s a pretty film treasure. I hope we get to see more of him soon.

5:55 ? Paperman wins for Best Animated Short. I loved it. Simple, cute, and engaging. ?Best Animated feature goes to Brave.? The best part was the guy who accepted the award wore a kilt. See what Kanye West started.

6:05 ? The Avengers assemble, minus Thor, to hand out the award for cinematography. The Oscar goes to Life of Pi. So far the winners haven?t been a disappointment. Pi gets back-to-back awards winning for Visual Effects as well.

I love the Jaws music as the play off music for the speakers. Hilarious

6:17 ? Anna Kjoinnaoinfoe wins an award for Costume Design while Les Mis wins its first award for Make Up. How do they even decide those categories? Does the entire makeup team get an Oscar? If I clean the makeup kits, do I get an award too?

Halle Berry hasn?t aged in years. She leads off the Bond montage bridges into Shirley Bassey singing Goldfinger. It?s a reminder at how long the Bond themes have been around and how much they?re a part of Hollywood. Bassey sounds amazing. I hope Alicia Keys is watching this and taking notes.

This Scandal commercial just reminded me why I love Kerry Washington.

Why wasn?t Richard Parker nominated. He was one of my favorite supporting actors this year. I want him to win just for the awkward exchange between Anne Hathaway and a live tiger. That would be riveting?television.

6:32 ? Kerry Washington comes out to present as if I needed another reminder. It?s smart doing the Best Picture nominees in batches. What?s not smart is how these montages are giving away the entire movie. They should come with spoiler alerts.

Searching for Sugar Man wins for Best Documentary. It?s such a good film by a first time director. Seth McFarlane?s jokes have been hit and miss for most of the night.

Musical montages are kryptonite for people who hate musicals. Luckily it?s Catherine Zeta-Jones so you can?t be too mad. The Chicago, Dreamgirls, Les Mis musical performance gets a standing ovation. Hilarious seeing Russell Crowe pop up on stage. Critics have killed Les Mis for Crowe?s performance. ?I bet he threatened to go Gladiator on everyone if they didn?t include him. Surprisingly he didn?t sound like a drowning cat this time.

7:09 ? Captain Kirk and Uhura are giving out awards for tech. Everyone?s favorite foul mouth stuffed animal Ted makes some orgy jokes/Jewish jokes that I?m sure are going to get ABC some lovely letters from parents all over. ?I?m not sure when the ?edgy? Oscar jokes became a thing, but it looks like the jokes are here to stay.

I can?t believe they have a tie for the sound editing Oscar. Has this ever happened before? This is messing up Oscar pools everywhere. How do you tie for an Oscar when you can?t tie in Uno. Something doesn?t seem right.

I think guys with long hair are 5-0 tonight.

Best Supporting Actress goes to Anne Hathaway for getting her haircut and her tooth pulled out. I would love to see her win for The Dark Knight Rises. It even looks like she?s still wearing that necklace she stole from Bruce Wayne.

ABC finally nails it with a great promo for Nashville. We need more of those tonight. ?Who knew the girl for Heroes would become a country singer.

7:29 ? ARGO wins ARGO wins?for editing. Let?s hope it?s a sign of things to come later.

Jennifer Lawrence is amazing. That is all.

Adele?s Skyfall is in my Top 5 Bond songs. Of course, Adele?s performance is dope as always. She?s got such an amazing voice. ?I want her to sing Skyfall at my wedding and every major sporting event.

7:43 ? Kristen Stewart looks like she?s still transforming into a vampire or has been hanging out with Snoop backstage. They need to get her off screen pronto.

7:57- The In Memoriam part of the show is always sad. I wonder who gets the last shot. Composer Marvin Hamilsch gets the final photo followed by a sad Barbara Streisand song.

McFarlane nails a hilarious Rex Reed joke. So far he?s got in a few good zingers.

Adele wins again. That makes a Golden Globe, Grammy, and Oscar in one year. Not bad. Not bad at all. She?s running for President next.

My friend Maia just tweeted ?Adele could sing the ingredients from a Lean Cuisine box for all I care?. I couldn?t agree more.

How tall is Charlize Theron because Dustin Hoffman looks like TED standing next to her. Adapted Screenplay goes to Argo while Original Screenplay Tarantino for Django. That?s the first big surprise of the night.

I?m still campaigning for The Academy to make a category for Best Villain. Who wouldn?t want to see Tom Hardy, Tom Hiddleston, and Javier Bardem up there tonight? That?s a win-win.

8:43 ? Time for the big awards. Ang Lee snags the first one for Life of Pi. Two shockers in a row with Tarantino and Ang Lee winning. My Oscar pics are all messed up. I?m happy for Ang Lee and everyone involved in Life of Pie. It?s such a beautiful movie.

Best Actress is up next and I have big money on Jennifer Lawrence although I did love Jessica Chastain?s performance?..and she wins. 2012 was the Year of J.Law. Good for her until she fell on the stairs. I?m sure those internet memes of her falling will be popping off soon. Either way, Katniss won The Hunger Games and an Oscar. Great year for her.

Daniel Day Lewis wins in the only category that was a lock since Lincoln came out. In heaven, I fully expect Lincoln to be Daniel Day Lewis. Daniel Day also delivers the best speech of the night. That man can do no wrong. I need Zac Efron to play younger me in my biopic and Daniel Day Lewis to play the older me.

FLOTUS with the biggest surprise of the night ? she?s presenting for Best Picture. The Oscar goes to Argo. Ben did it! Who knew he?d be here after Gigli and Daredevil. I?m happy for Ben. His career has made a complete 180.? Not to mention he?s 3 for 3 directing movies.

Always a fun time at the Academy Awards. Till next year.

Source: http://blog.seattlepi.com/peoplescritic/2013/02/24/2013-oscars-blog/

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